A big part of being a teenager is about figuring out who you are (identity) and how you feel about yourself (self-esteem). This is a period in your life when you might ask yourself – how am I unique?; do people like me? what do I like?; and what am I good at?. This is also a time when you start to become more independent from your family, and likely, more involved in your peer group. What your friends think of you, and being accepted by them, is especially important.
Having cancer may cause you to struggle with feelings about who you are and how you feel about yourself. It may be hard to talk with your friends about cancer because you may worry that they may think you are somehow different from them. Maybe your friends make you feel like you’re not the same person as you used to be. You may feel like an “outsider,” like you don’t belong in your social group anymore.
Additionally, cancer treatments such as chemotherapy can cause hair loss, weight gain or loss, and changes in skin. In addition, if you have surgery, you may have noticeable scars. How you feel about yourself is in part affected by how you feel about your body (body image).Changes in your body can cause you to feel more aware of your body. You may feel like you’re physical appearance is different than when you did not have cancer and that you, as a whole person, are different too. With these changes, you may be nervous that people, especially your friends, will treat you differently.
All this said, it sounds like cancer can be really tough to deal with when it comes to how you feel about yourself and what your friends think of you. You may begin to feel down, or more alone, like you don’t belong or like no one in the world can possibly understand what you are going through. This is all normal.
Here are some important things to remember:
- You’re still the same person.
- Take time to think about how these changes feel to you, and how you may learn to adjust to them.
- It’s helpful to talk about your feelings either with someone you trust or with a health care professional.
- If you have questions about side effects of cancer and cancer treatment, be sure to get all the right information from a health care professional.
- If you are asked questions about your cancer journey, and possible changes in physical appearance, think about how you might respond and remember that it is OK to say you don’t want to talk about it.
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