friends

When you find out a friend has cancer, you may feel stuck and not know what to do. Don’t freak out if your friend doesn’t ask for help or doesn’t want to talk about their cancer. This is normal. Sometimes, it’s tough for people with cancer to talk about what they are going through and what they need from you.

Here are some helpful tips:

• Show support – Remember, this may be one of the toughest things your friend has ever gone through. It’s important to let your friend know that you are there for them. You can talk, email, and send texts expressing your support. Just letting them know you are thinking about them can be a help.
• Ask how you can be helpful – It’s a good idea to ask how you can be helpful to your friend. Whether it is picking up homework from school or going to the movies, you can be helpful in different ways.
• Don’t treat your friend differently – You may feel like your friend is different because they have cancer. They may have lost their hair or look thinner, or maybe you don’t see them as much at school. Just remember that your friend is going through a very difficult time. Your support and friendship could be even more important to them now.
• Become an Expert – Learn about your friend’s cancer and cancer treatments. The more you know, the better of a support you can be to your friend.

try putting yourself in someone else's shoes

Think about what you might like someone to do or say if you were in a tough situation such as living with cancer. 

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family

Families come in all different shapes and sizes. Whether you have two parents/guardians or not one, have brothers or sisters or are an only child, how your family is structured can affect how you deal with cancer.

When someone in your family has cancer, your attitude about what’s important may change and you may begin not to sweat the small stuff as much. For example, you may decide to spend more time with a sibling who has cancer and who you used to argue with a lot.

Sometimes a cancer diagnosis can change your role within your family. For example, if your parent/guardian has cancer, you may begin to help out more around the house and do things you may not used to do such as cook or clean.

It’s important to remember that not all of these changes are easy and it will take time and support from others to help you adjust to your new relationships.

Here are some helpful tips:

• Talk about anticipated changes with your family – Though it may be hard, it’s a good idea to talk with your family about how the cancer diagnosis may affect your role and responsibility within the family. The more aware you are of what’s going on, the better off you will be in handling your day-to-day activities and responsibilities.
• Ask how you can be helpful – It’s important to ask how you can be supportive to your family. Whether it is picking up your brother from school, cleaning more around house, or cooking meals, let them know how you can help. Your support can make a huge difference in helping your family get through this tough time. Keep your family in the loop about how cancer affects you –It’s helpful to let your family know how you are dealing with everything at school, at home, and with your friends. You are likely to go through a lot of changes and feel more “ups” and “downs.” Be honest if you feel like you are doing too much around the house or if you having trouble at school. The more you communicate with your family, the more likely you will be able to get the support you need from them.
• Become an Expert – The more information you have about cancer, the more in control of dealing with cancer you will probably feel. You may feel scared about learning about cancer and that’s ok too. The most important thing is to know how you feel and do what feels right to you.
• Find someone outside your family you can talk to if you need to like a teacher, friend or even a parent of a friend. Remember a cancer diagnosis affects you too.