taking action

Being Patient Active is about feeling and acting empowered. It is the active participation in the choices you and your health care team make about your treatments.

We have put together some actions you can take to join with your physician in your fight for recovery.

make plans for the future

You may find it helpful to set short term and/or long range plans. Making plans in itself is a pleasant and positive experience. By making plans for the future, you are actively looking forward to doing things you enjoy and that make you happy.

don’t let family and friends abandon you

Some of your friends and family may act differently toward you after the cancer diagnosis. They may be scared or they may not know what to say. They need your help. Do not wait for them to gather courage to approach you, tell them openly how you want them to treat you.

For example, you could say, “Look, we’re still friends. Please ask me questions if you want to.” Most of your friends and family will respond as you would want.

don’t be a loner

As you know, being a teenager is already difficult, often filled with isolation and confusion. A diagnosis of cancer only compounds and complicates this time.

Some teens with cancer find that they feel even more alone than they did before the illness. If you have lost hair or have scars from the treatments then you may feel embarrased to go out. This could result in further isolation.

If you find yourself withdrawing from activities and events that you enjoyed before your diagnosis, remember—you can still do it! Start again, talk to your friends about what you are feeling and ask for help if you need encouragement or support.

try to take as much control of your life as possible

Many teens with cancer find themselves having to give up a good deal of control over to their health care team and family. This comes at the very time when you want more control over your own lives.

One idea is to make a list of the things that you’ve had to let go of since your diagnosis, and talk to your family and health care team about ways that you can regain control of your life.

At The Wellness Community, we have learned that the more control you have, the better you feel.

relax

The “Relaxation Response” is similar to what you feel when you practice deep easy breathing. This is important because when you reach a relaxed state, your immune system works better and you will also find that it helps with feelings of loss of control and anxiety.

It is easy to do, takes very little time, has no unpleasant side effects, and almost always leaves you feeling better. If you are interested, you can find the Relaxation Tape in the Info Zone. Click here to Relax.

use hopeful words

There are going to be times when you feel overwhelmed and perhaps despair, but to describe yourself as a victim afflicted with a catastrophic, terminal or fatal disease leaves little room for anything but despair. If you persuade yourself by the words you use that you are doomed, you may unconsciously give up. Don’t use those words.

Why not use more hopeful words? Call yourself a cancer survivor. Say that you are fighting for recovery.

pursue happiness, avoid stress

We all like to be happy, but did you know that happy feelings may strengthen your immune system? On the other hand, unpleasant feelings (sadness, anxiety, and anger) may actually weaken the power of your immune system. So, it seems wise to do as much as you can to increase pleasant emotions and reduce unpleasant ones.

This may be easy to say, but sometimes difficult to do. Try to become more aware of your feelings. Notice how you react to life events, how and where you spend your time and whether or not you are enjoying yourself as much as possible. If you find yourself doing something that makes you unhappy, think about things that make you happy and find ways to do them instead.

become a partner with your doctor

Some teens with cancer want to hear nothing but instructions about what they’re supposed to do. They do not want to be involved in the details. Others want to be a part of the decision-making process. Most doctors try to do what’s best for you.

So, make sure to discuss how you want to be involved in your treatment with your physician and your parents. Remember, you have a lot of say in what type of relationship you have with your physician and it is important that you, your family, and your physician work together to decide what the relationship will be. Be aware that a strained relationship with your doctor brings unpleasant emotions for everyone.

be with other teens with cancer

Many teens with cancer say that only another teen with cancer knows and understands what having cancer feels like. Being with kids who “understand” you can help build team spirit and relieve fears. If there is no teen support group in your area then you might join a Group Loop Online Support Group for teens with cancer. Or, you might find other teens with cancer by asking your doctor, the American Cancer Society or other organizations that provide services to teens with cancer. Click here to learn more.

do what you can to keep up hope

Many teens with cancer sometimes believe that there is no hope. That’s just not true. There are millions of people in the world today who have recovered from this disease. No matter what type of cancer you have, there are people who have survived it. Hope is a reasonable and healthy feeling.

express love

It is important to express love, caring and affection. Going through the diagnosis and treatment of cancer can be overwhelming and isolating. Spending time with your loved ones is an important part of treatment. You will find that the more you communicate with those you love, the closer you will all feel and the more you will be able to help each other during this difficult time.