Before Your Teen Returns to School

While still in the hospital there are a few key things you can do to help your child make a smooth transition from hospital to school:

Help your teen stay involved in school

• Keep the teacher(s) and school nurse up-to-date about your teen’s medical condition.
• Work with the school and hospital to make sure your teen realistically stays on top of schoolwork – of course even a little bit helps as long as there are clear expectations about performance and what coursework counts as credit.
• Bear in mind that each treatment and each cancer has its own side effects that may directly affect your teen’s ability to complete assignments.
• Consider having a hospital teacher or tutor work with the school to create timelines for assignments so your teen can receive credit for classes missed.
• Work to find a balance between advocating for your teen and supporting your teen in advocating for him or herself.

Encourage visits with friends and classmates

School and lessons are important; but support from friends and classmates is also important. Some teens may feel embarrassed about friends seeing them in the hospital and would prefer to see friends when they are feeling and looking better. However, it is easier going back to school with the help of at least a few close friends who understand your teen’s situation.

It is really important to discuss with your son or daughter the value of having friends visit during their hospital stay. You may find that many friends and classmates want to help, but are uncertain how to act or what to do. Encourage your teen’s friends and classmates to make visits to the hospital; and then make sure you give them time to talk and just hang out alone.

Consider teaching classmates about your teen’s illness

If you both agree, then make sure you talk with your teen ahead of time and find out what information he or she does NOT want others to know. If it is appropriate, you can ask a member of the medical team to visit a specific class in order to educate classmates about cancer and its treatment. If a healthcare team member can’t make it, work with your teen’s teacher(s) to teach a class that includes these important elements:

• Teasing, staring or “dissing” are not cool.
• When we are afraid or anxious, sometimes we react by laughing although inside we know that the situation is serious. Help friends and classmates put into words their fears in order to help them understand the illness.
• Your teen is still the same person on the inside. He or she wants to be kept in the loop and invited to do fun things. Classmates need to know that your teen may opt out of joining or participating in activities for reasons that may be private or medical.
• Encourage friends and classmates to value and respect your child’s privacy. He or she may want to share with friends, or to keep some things inside. Don’t take it personally.
• When your teen is willing to discuss the illness and share their feelings, it is important to just listen and acknowledge how much you value their friendship, especially in times of difficulty and challenge.
• Be sensitive and pay attention to body language and facial expressions; this will be one of the ways your child will communicate when they feel enough questions have been answered .

Thanks to Ernest Katz, Ph.D., Julia Challinor, RN, Ph.D., MA. ED., and Mitch Golant, Ph.D. for their permission to use and adapt the above information.